And I’ll watch you go.

You talk like that to every single girl. I was so stupid, why did I think I was anything special to you? Obviously I wasn’t but I can’t believe I wasted my precious time on you. I wish I could have realized earlier.

You’re right. I’ve never had a bad break up. I’ve never had my heart broken into a million pieces. I have no right to put up these walls, right? But I have seen my friends cry for months over boys who they gave their hearts to. I’ve seen boys promise ‘forever’ only to watch forever end a few months later, when they find someone better to sleep with. I’ve stayed up countless nights, not by choice, but because my parents were fighting so loud that I couldn’t fall asleep. I’ve been the shoulder to cry on. I’ve seen the strongest people in the world become weak for love. And I refuse to be that girl. 

I am just so sick and tired of this. I want to be alright without you. I want to be able to go a month, a week, a day, an hour without thinking of you. Without wondering why it is you don’t care at all anymore. I just am so sick and tired of needing you in my life, knowing that you only make me sad.

I know you’re upset about him. It’s okay, be upset, cry, scream into your pillow till you think you’ve lost your voice. But looking back on this stupid boy who broke your heart in the future, you’ll laugh at him, Laugh because he thought he was doing the right thing at the right time. Turns out he wasn’t because he lost something amazing. And you’ll thank him. Thank him for making you stronger, and to say to hell with him, I’m great. But most importantly you’ll appreciate what he did, because without him leaving you wouldn’t have found the amazing boy you’re with now.

3 years ago | 09:14pm
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